Do Your RIGHT Thing

DISCLAIMER: Frustration Release Day!I cannot keep it in any longer!

Ok, I let it out right off the bat... Why are we so judgmental? Why do we shun or cling to people based on their living circumstances, athletic ability, brand of clothing they wear, the size and shape, the jobs they have and who their parents or grandparents are or what the rumor mill has to say? Why do we not take time to get to know and experience people for themselves. Why do we not look at what their potential is, what they can do to help us become better people, and how they deserve to be valued. I am SO tired of the thoughts of if I do this, that person or group will not like it or if I say this or question that then people think I am attacking them. Yes, how things are said has a lot of play in how actions and words are received, but so does intent or reasons for the things we do and say.


Have we have become a society so worried about what others wear, do, have, say, think that we have lost touch with who we are, what we enjoy doing, and the ability to make our own decisions based on what is right for us? I personally, think so.

We have cut back or stopped doing what is right and have shifted to doing what we think others will feel is right.

I write this all out today because I find myself falling into the trap. I am not without fault myself. I also write because I struggle at times with finding the line between healthy levels of "keeping others perceptions and actions" in mind and unhealthy levels of "I can't do that or I will only do this or I should go there because a certain person or group will be there". The fine line between looking up to someone and trying to impress them and prove something is often hard to find. I write because the social world is VERY COMPLEX!

This is not a kid issue. It is not an teenager issue. It is not an adult or elderly issue. It s not a rural vs. urban issue or one of poverty vs. wealth. It is all of it.... It is a PEOPLE issue!

So why today is it the day to get this off my chest? Well, two very impactful things have happened in the past few days. Yesterday, was my son's 8th birthday party. Kids all played, had a good time, interacted well. As most birthday parties have, we opened gifts. Some presents were large and elaborate and others were small and simple.

To my son, it didn't matter. He Hi-5ed or hugged everyone, thanked them and couldn't wait to play with them all. None of the issues that I listed above came into play. He loved that each child was there, gift or not, large or small, rich or poor. He was simply pleased that they thought enough of him to want to come.


The second event happened today. Today is the last day of school for us. This means the annual award program. It means recognizing kids for a variety of accomplishments, most of which relate to academic performance and ability and most of which have very little to do with their character, actions towards others, desire to simply do what is right and do it because they want to, not being forced to do so. So I attended and clapped. I watched the clock, thought about the various things I wanted to get done before the afternoon end of year dance party celebration. Which is when I realized that I had forgotten about my favorite elementary award of all times, the Citizenship Award. In all honesty this award is my favorite, but it makes me nervous. I prayed that the awards went to people of good character and not those who simply are popular or parents have power or presence. Indeed, those making the decision did well! Three very deserving young people got this award. They act and make decisions, they carry on through diversity and strive to do it each day. These kids give me hope that more of us can do the right thing!

So as I try to end my rant, trying to come to terms that by making decisions that are right for me, that do not hurt others, that I will be able to offer more to more people. I try to tell myself that it doesn't matter what others not impacted by my decisions think if they are right for myself and my family. I try to feel at peace knowing that even when I justify and explain my position and decisions, which I don't have to do, that most of what I say will fall on deaf ears.

Today is the day to step forward and do what is our OWN Right Thing!
Where will you begin?

Farming with Faith Through Cancer

One never knows what tomorrow will bring.
Celebrate each day!
I have tried to sit down and write this for several weeks... perhaps blocking my ability to post anything else that has been happening in the world of faith, family, farming and food. perhaps I struggled because it confirms a reality, perhaps because I am humbled by all who have stepped up to help, perhaps because it is still hard to talk about. BUT today, I am committed to sharing and moving forward!

Spring 2015 is a farming season we were not too sure about last fall. And oddly enough, not because the farm was struggling. We had good crops coming off the field, we had good equity, land, moisture, a plan for planting and labor. We had a good foundation in faith. We even had financing all in line for the 2015 farm season. What we didn't have was our health.

On September 5th, 2014, confirmed on Sept 8th, we found out that my husband had Leukemia. At that time he was VERY ill and although they doctors hoped that he would be able to recover from the side effects (dangerously enlarged spleen, lack of appetite, and pain among a few other things) from this cancer, nothing was a for sure. As treatment was started to improve his excruciating high levels of while blood cells and some of his side effects, we learned quite a bit.

We learned that Leukemia is not curable, only treatable/ manageable at best. We found out that he would most likely be on one form or another of Chemotherapy ( in a pill form) daily for the rest of his life. We had no idea how he would respond to the treatment. We didn't know what the future was going to look like, but we did discover that our employees, family, friends and the businesses that we did business with had our back and were willing to make harvest and the farm continue and ensure we were taken care of! That's what small town rural America is all about- right!

Now, that famous saying.... God doesn't give us more than we can handle... for several weeks I wanted to let God know exactly what I thought of him at that moment.... and yes, I would have not been polite and if God was a human standing in front of me, he may have called 911 and pressed charges. But he isn't human and he is a great listener who provides strength when we need it the most!

So, 7, almost 8 months have passed. It has been a true roller coaster. Steven was in the hospital for 2 weeks. He has had weekly blood draws in Bismarck, 55 miles ways, since discharge. After about 5 months they switched to every week and now Steven has his blood checked every 4 weeks. We meet with the oncologist in Bismarck every other month and have been to Mayo Clinic in Rochester 3 times. Yes, he really does take a form of Chemo everyday- twice a day in fact. As tired as this medicine makes him, it is for the best! All of his blood work continually gets better. The doctors have repeated several highly skilled tests analyzing cells in Steven's Bone marrow- now that is a story-- a need stuck into your hip bone with almost not numbing medicine and no sedation, no thanks! All results are looking VERY good!

When it is said that God answers prayers on his own time and that there are many things to be gained from struggle, as painful and tough as it may be, I'd have to agree. As of 2 weeks ago, the doctors could not detect any cells that cause the Leukemia that Steven has!!! Saying that we are ELATED, would be an understatement.

Although this is what we feel to be "our miracle", it doesn't mean the doctors were wrong when they said Steven's Leukemia wasn't curable. It means that for the time bring, we are doing everything right. We will still have to check blood monthly, check cells for mutations - which cause the cancer, and make sure that none of the side effects from the chemo is taking hold.... so far being tired is the only one he has and that is something we can live with!

But when all is said and done, we realize that everyone has a burden or two to carry. This just so happens to be one of ours and by having it enter our life we haven't let it take over, but show us all that we have to be thankful for...we have so much.. Faith, Family, Friends and the ability to do what we love, Farm!

Here's to farming season 2015 and our whole new outlook on life!

Prairie Mamas to the Rescue

Living in a rural area can be lonely at times. (Especially if you are like me and kinda like to stay home in sweats.) Moving to a small town from a large city can be even lonelier. Being a farmer and living a life and schedule many don't understand or are not familiar with adds an extra layer of difficulty too. It's hard to break through and find those that you connect with well! You know, those you can turn to when you are in the middle of your toughest times, have questions you don't need shared with the rest of the town, and people that you can enlighten with stories of the wild things you saw, did or watched your kids do.  Small towns can be tough. ( I will say that the are some pretty awesome people in my small town.) Sometimes those that we become closest to live the furthest away. 

I have to say, I have some of the best "Prairie Mama" friends from around ND that I could ever expect to find!  They are my rock, my encouragement, and source of humor, but ultimately they are always there reminding me of how amazing faith and God are!  

Faith is something I struggle with. How can the faithful be challenged so often? Why is it that the more I commit to a life with The Lord that I find more questions than answers? How many things can be thrown at me at once and am I really expected to rise above them and come out on top? I get that faith is a journey and that by attending church, listening and working at it it will get easier to hear and follow. But, in all selfishness, I would love for one request via prayer to be answered on my terms. Ok, I know that is part of the learning curve... But throw me a bone, please!  

So, when it comes to struggles and what feels like prayers are falling on deaf ears, I reach out to the "Prairie Mamas". They help fill the gap while waiting for direction from The Lord. It is this that I am utmost grateful. It is this that reinforces the true meaning of friendship. It is this that adds value to all other relationships I have. It's the "Prairie Mamas" that keep me going! 

Thanks Prairie Mamas! I owe you big! 

2015 Gets an "F"

Yes, 2015 already gets an "F" from me. At a time in the year in which so many people are taking time to make resolutions to do things or not do things, I sat back and reflected on what is valuable in my life. The last part of 2014 was challenging and I had to put quite a few things on the back burner and identify what mattered most. Now that 2015 has hit, I had to decide if any of those "back-burner" things could be moved forward or if I had enough on my plate.

As I sat and thought and tried to categorize the things that I valued each day, my list became rather short. 2015 will be full of " F's",but certainly not failure. In fact, it will be filled with things that will allow my family and I to persevere and succeed. In 2015 I resolve to focus on:
*Faith
*Family
*Farm
*Friends
*Finances
and of course FRIDAYS!

None of these things come easy. All take dedication and effort. I am certain that balancing them will be challenging and force me to be less selfish. But, in the end everything will be better, stronger and more settled. It is my plan to share stories from all my "F's" throughout the year on Friday's! Why Friday? well, because it is a day of celebration. For many it is payday, end of the regular work week, the beginning of more family time, time to see friends and family, leads to planned day of worship, and for us allows our family to work together on the farm. And perhaps for no other reason than, it is my favorite day of the week!

So, until next week when I share about FOOD, think about what letter grade you plan to give 2015!

"Rooted in love and grounded by faith." Eph 3:17

Do The Kids Get It?

It has been a long time I since I took time to write and I have had good intentions, but never put those intentions into action. Today just seems like the right time to get going again... I admit that I am hooked on Facebook, that I like to watch junk TV and I get wound up over things that I should let go. Sometimes my priorities are all mixed up and I choose to do "fun" things or more things less well than a few things timely and complete. Our farming lifestyle is very different than how I grew up in Minneapolis, but I wouldn't change it for the world. We don't keep the same schedule as many of our kids' friends parents, sometimes our 5 kids are limited as to what they can do because I am only one person and can only run in so many directions at one time and other times they are blessed with oppotunities that many children do not have. I constantly struggle with the idea of "do they understand". Today, as I sat to work on the "kid computer" in the kitchen while I wait for the dishwasher to finish so I can get my canning jars out and get busy making spaghetti sauce, I came across this document open and started by my 11 year old.... I think they do understand what our life can give them.

That what they may give up at times leads to gaining things that others will never have or perhaps even know they are missing. It was this beginning of a powerpoint that made me proud of all that I have come to love, the family I have and the hard work my husband, our employees and all that have come before us have put forth so we can lead the next generation into a life of honesty, hard work, belief, creativity, problem solving and prosperity.

"And other seeds fell into good soil and produced grain, growing up and increasing and yielding thirtyfold and sixtyfold and a hundredfold.” And he said, “He who has ears to hear, let him hear. Mark 4:8-9

Entertaining the Conversation

Over the past 8 months I have been doing a lot of thinking about keeping an open mind and acknowledging that my knowledge and opinions may hurt me more than help me when it comes to promoting things that I am passionate about...Education and Agriculture.

I have heard and studied with my husband about "Foodies" and "Locavores". Listened to my husband partake in deep discussions about Urban Ag and worked with people that promote the Farm to School program. I have also been fortunate enough to partake in conversations about organic farming and GMO crops. Ultimately the best conversation regarding agriculture was with a dear friend at the dinner table about why we need GMO seed, what our responsibility is to the world, the long term effects of our current technological advances, the disruption of the natural cycles in nature and most importantly what the Bible says about agriculture. Now I must say that our conversation was not near long enough (several kids running around). But, it was one that really made me stop and ask, " What would happen if..." and how do all the different farming and ranching practices fit together to supply the demands of our towns, cities, states, country and world.

It was amongst and after all these opportunities to learn and the excitement that I saw on my husband's eyes as he listens and speaks with many people from a variety of backgrounds that I decided to become better educated and interested in the big picture of agriculture. I had spent the last 12 years of my life learning about our operation’s ins and outs that I had spent little time reading, listening and speaking with others in the field and people (actively involved in ag and those who aren't) with things to say. I realized that no matter what they have to say we both have things to learn from each other.

Among the things I have learned to date I have learned that organic is not the enemy of conventional practices. Infact, organic commodities are a fabulous way to connect with the consumer and enter into conversation about choice. Nutrient value is generally equal with both options; it is simply a matter of cost, availability, and lifestyle. Organic is not an option for all, but it is a wonderful way to make the connection between producer and consumer.

Urban agriculture is also growing. Now I must say that it is VERY different from what I have come to know, but none the less it is still is an important sub-culture within the agriculture industry. I have found that some of my biggest challenges when trying to talk about agriculture come from the urban population. Many times it is because the hustle and bustle of the city lifestyle has not provided time for consumers to think about how the food gets to their store, where it comes from, availability, price, quality etc. The urban ag movement gets people, groups and even companies involved in knowing about the food they consume, the effort that goes into producing and perhaps helps them stop and think about the entire (or part of) the complex and advanced agricultural system in the United States.

My biggest challenge has definitely been the concept of spirituality and agriculture. Part of my challenge is not knowing what all the Bible has to say and part of it is a struggle with responsibility to supply. How do my personal values and morals co-exist in an industry that no longer (not for a long time now) is a self sustaining lifestyle. U.S. agriculture is a worldwide life sustaining business that is always moving ahead. Where does my balance come within farming practices, desire to get a few more cents per bushel, relationships with business partners and landlords. I have stated several times that I will not become someone that I am not comfortable with to move up the ladder, but when does livelihood and need to compete compromise that statement? I have not had to deal to heavily with that as of yet, but I know my day will come and I will need my faith to pull me through. I hope that as time goes on that my dinner conversation with a dear friend will continue for she is very knowledgeable, has a different perspective than many in our community and is a wonderful listener!

So, I guess the moral of today's message is that no matter what the theme or topic of the conversation is, listen, ask questions, and share. You will always learn something; even if it is just a better understand of the other person or perspectives that are out there!