Farming with Faith Through Cancer

One never knows what tomorrow will bring.
Celebrate each day!
I have tried to sit down and write this for several weeks... perhaps blocking my ability to post anything else that has been happening in the world of faith, family, farming and food. perhaps I struggled because it confirms a reality, perhaps because I am humbled by all who have stepped up to help, perhaps because it is still hard to talk about. BUT today, I am committed to sharing and moving forward!

Spring 2015 is a farming season we were not too sure about last fall. And oddly enough, not because the farm was struggling. We had good crops coming off the field, we had good equity, land, moisture, a plan for planting and labor. We had a good foundation in faith. We even had financing all in line for the 2015 farm season. What we didn't have was our health.

On September 5th, 2014, confirmed on Sept 8th, we found out that my husband had Leukemia. At that time he was VERY ill and although they doctors hoped that he would be able to recover from the side effects (dangerously enlarged spleen, lack of appetite, and pain among a few other things) from this cancer, nothing was a for sure. As treatment was started to improve his excruciating high levels of while blood cells and some of his side effects, we learned quite a bit.

We learned that Leukemia is not curable, only treatable/ manageable at best. We found out that he would most likely be on one form or another of Chemotherapy ( in a pill form) daily for the rest of his life. We had no idea how he would respond to the treatment. We didn't know what the future was going to look like, but we did discover that our employees, family, friends and the businesses that we did business with had our back and were willing to make harvest and the farm continue and ensure we were taken care of! That's what small town rural America is all about- right!

Now, that famous saying.... God doesn't give us more than we can handle... for several weeks I wanted to let God know exactly what I thought of him at that moment.... and yes, I would have not been polite and if God was a human standing in front of me, he may have called 911 and pressed charges. But he isn't human and he is a great listener who provides strength when we need it the most!

So, 7, almost 8 months have passed. It has been a true roller coaster. Steven was in the hospital for 2 weeks. He has had weekly blood draws in Bismarck, 55 miles ways, since discharge. After about 5 months they switched to every week and now Steven has his blood checked every 4 weeks. We meet with the oncologist in Bismarck every other month and have been to Mayo Clinic in Rochester 3 times. Yes, he really does take a form of Chemo everyday- twice a day in fact. As tired as this medicine makes him, it is for the best! All of his blood work continually gets better. The doctors have repeated several highly skilled tests analyzing cells in Steven's Bone marrow- now that is a story-- a need stuck into your hip bone with almost not numbing medicine and no sedation, no thanks! All results are looking VERY good!

When it is said that God answers prayers on his own time and that there are many things to be gained from struggle, as painful and tough as it may be, I'd have to agree. As of 2 weeks ago, the doctors could not detect any cells that cause the Leukemia that Steven has!!! Saying that we are ELATED, would be an understatement.

Although this is what we feel to be "our miracle", it doesn't mean the doctors were wrong when they said Steven's Leukemia wasn't curable. It means that for the time bring, we are doing everything right. We will still have to check blood monthly, check cells for mutations - which cause the cancer, and make sure that none of the side effects from the chemo is taking hold.... so far being tired is the only one he has and that is something we can live with!

But when all is said and done, we realize that everyone has a burden or two to carry. This just so happens to be one of ours and by having it enter our life we haven't let it take over, but show us all that we have to be thankful for...we have so much.. Faith, Family, Friends and the ability to do what we love, Farm!

Here's to farming season 2015 and our whole new outlook on life!

Lent... Fish Again?

Yes, it is that time again. The time of year that we are supposed to step back, reflect on our faith, take action to become less selfish, and evaluate our action as it relates to pour faith... it is Lent! Well, in all reality, it is almost over, but it still is for a few more days!

At our house lent is fairly simple. We reflect on our faith, identify ways we can exemplify our faith and then decide what we are going to give up or in some cases take on. Of course, it also means no meat on Fridays.Now, I kind of enjoy this part-- I LOVE fish, seafood, noodle, and grilled cheese! But my family on the other hand is not nearly as excited!

So a few weeks ago I tempted to try something new... Something that the family might get a bit more excited..... So I made Veggie, Lentil Penne Alfredo.... It was simple...

I chopped up some Kale and Spinach, a small onion, 2 Roma tomatoes, a few stalks of celery, and a few shakes of Italian seasoning. I then mixed in a jar of alfredo sauce, a cup of sour cream and about 2 cups of milk. Next, I boiled ,get this, red LENT-il penne pasta noodles. Drained and let them cool. Then I mixed the noodles into the veggie and sauce mixture, poured it all into a 9x13 pan coated in cooking spray and cooked uncovered for about 40 minutes at 350 degrees.

It came out of the oven delicious!












I paired it with parmesan crusted Tilapia (for me), fresh mixed greens salad and petite cold carrots!

Despite thinking I was pretty corny using LENT-il pasta during Lent, the meal was a hit!

One just never knows what a family with 5 kids will eat... I am learning to never expect a certain result, but to be grateful for the opportunity to provide! Opening ourselves to new experiences is what living is all about!


"Lent stimulates us to let the Word of God penetrate our life and in this way to know the fundamental truth: who we are, where we come from, where we must go, what path we must take in life..." -- Pope Benedict XVI

Prairie Mamas to the Rescue

Living in a rural area can be lonely at times. (Especially if you are like me and kinda like to stay home in sweats.) Moving to a small town from a large city can be even lonelier. Being a farmer and living a life and schedule many don't understand or are not familiar with adds an extra layer of difficulty too. It's hard to break through and find those that you connect with well! You know, those you can turn to when you are in the middle of your toughest times, have questions you don't need shared with the rest of the town, and people that you can enlighten with stories of the wild things you saw, did or watched your kids do.  Small towns can be tough. ( I will say that the are some pretty awesome people in my small town.) Sometimes those that we become closest to live the furthest away. 

I have to say, I have some of the best "Prairie Mama" friends from around ND that I could ever expect to find!  They are my rock, my encouragement, and source of humor, but ultimately they are always there reminding me of how amazing faith and God are!  

Faith is something I struggle with. How can the faithful be challenged so often? Why is it that the more I commit to a life with The Lord that I find more questions than answers? How many things can be thrown at me at once and am I really expected to rise above them and come out on top? I get that faith is a journey and that by attending church, listening and working at it it will get easier to hear and follow. But, in all selfishness, I would love for one request via prayer to be answered on my terms. Ok, I know that is part of the learning curve... But throw me a bone, please!  

So, when it comes to struggles and what feels like prayers are falling on deaf ears, I reach out to the "Prairie Mamas". They help fill the gap while waiting for direction from The Lord. It is this that I am utmost grateful. It is this that reinforces the true meaning of friendship. It is this that adds value to all other relationships I have. It's the "Prairie Mamas" that keep me going! 

Thanks Prairie Mamas! I owe you big! 

2015 Gets an "F"

Yes, 2015 already gets an "F" from me. At a time in the year in which so many people are taking time to make resolutions to do things or not do things, I sat back and reflected on what is valuable in my life. The last part of 2014 was challenging and I had to put quite a few things on the back burner and identify what mattered most. Now that 2015 has hit, I had to decide if any of those "back-burner" things could be moved forward or if I had enough on my plate.

As I sat and thought and tried to categorize the things that I valued each day, my list became rather short. 2015 will be full of " F's",but certainly not failure. In fact, it will be filled with things that will allow my family and I to persevere and succeed. In 2015 I resolve to focus on:
*Faith
*Family
*Farm
*Friends
*Finances
and of course FRIDAYS!

None of these things come easy. All take dedication and effort. I am certain that balancing them will be challenging and force me to be less selfish. But, in the end everything will be better, stronger and more settled. It is my plan to share stories from all my "F's" throughout the year on Friday's! Why Friday? well, because it is a day of celebration. For many it is payday, end of the regular work week, the beginning of more family time, time to see friends and family, leads to planned day of worship, and for us allows our family to work together on the farm. And perhaps for no other reason than, it is my favorite day of the week!

So, until next week when I share about FOOD, think about what letter grade you plan to give 2015!

"Rooted in love and grounded by faith." Eph 3:17

He Must Be Listening

There are days that I wonder if any of my children get anything out of church. During most Sunday masses, I am lucky if I can catch a sentence or two. Today, when I left the kids in the car to grab a few things in the office, my middle child decided to let me know that despite his busy behavior and character that he does indeed glean information during mass and CCD. This is what I came back to the car to find... boots and socks off, dry erase marker uncapped, and a look of glee across his face. I looked at him closely and saw the following.....

How could I be upset. So innocent, so rich in belief, and so simple. He was listening, he heard, and hopefully will take the message of sacrifice to heart as he continues to grow. I know it made me think... How am I living my life? What am I doing to strengthen my relationships and faith? Perhaps, he was sending me a message.

PS. He also put a cross on his baby sister's head.... so cute!